Kyra Balls
Ms. Lehmann
English 1-3
12 March 2019
Guardian Demon
Macie was in the kitchen when she heard the door get jammed in. She ran out into the living room where a bunch of people dressed in black with white bolded letters, armed with guns. They started to surround her, only their backs towards her, guns trained on the door and windows.
The closest man whispered, “Here he comes.” Everyone held their breath; no one moved a muscle. Macie reviewed her whole week trying to remember what had happened to make a SWAT team burst into her house. After a minute, a figure appeared in the doorway. Macie gasped, and the SWAT team fired.
Earlier that day:
“I didn’t want to. They made me. They...” Macie said. She snuffled and looked over her folded arms. Macie wiped her tears away and looked at her guardian.
“I know. Now you have to make them pay.” Her guardian, Jace, said. He moved Macie’s hair out of her face and forcefully made her look at him. “This is what we’ll do. You’re going to confront them about it. They shouldn’t have blackmailed you. If they ask what you’re going to do about it just say I'll leave that up to my guardian,” Jace smiled evilly.
“If I do that, they’ll beat me,” Macie said, pushing his hand away from her face. She glared at Jace. “How is me going up to them and threating them any better than when they did it to me?”
“It’s better because if they don’t leave you alone, then we won’t have to deal with them anymore,” Jace said throwing his arms up, which made Macie flinch. He had never hurt her; she’s just always been flinchy. It was because of her parents, who were abusive before she ran away. Jace had been there through it all; he helped her escape them. Macie then rolled her eyes and laughed a little.
“I mean, I guess. But you never had to deal with them. They probably don’t even know you are real.” Macie unfolded her arm and let them hang by her side.
“Oh, just go do it,” Jace said, waving his hands at her. He smiled, then gently pushed her forward.
Macie confronted the people who blackmailed her, which ended with a few new bruises and scratches. She fought back, but it was hard to win when it was three against one. Macie slowly walked back towards her dorm room. When she entered, Jace was in the living room, trying to keep himself busy. When Jace’s eyes landed on the bruises, he freaked out and ran to the door.
“Jace! Where are you going?” Macie asked, running after him. When she rounded the corner, she saw Jace standing in the doorway.
“Just let me do this, Macie. They can’t hurt you like that!” Jace yelled, still facing away from her.
“It’s fine. I’m fine. I promise.” Macie said taking a step towards him.
“Just let me go for a walk and clear my head,” Jace said firmly.
“Fine, just don’t hurt anyone,” Macie said, watching Jace storm out of the dorm. She turned towards the kitchen.
When the shots ceased, Macie came back to reality. She pushed through the SWAT team, only to see her friend on the ground.
“Why did you do this?! What did he do?!” Macie yelled at them, collapsing next Jace. Jace immediately got up and acted fine.
“Don’t shoot!” The commander of the SWAT shouted. The team put their guns down and the commander answered all of Macie’s questions. Turns out, Jace had attacked the bullies, putting them in the hospital. Macie was upset that Jace would go against her, but just let it go.
Macie and Jace went on with life, never leaving each other’s company. Macie decided to leave things alone, because if she didn’t, something horrible would happen. Jace learned that if he ever did that again, he would make sure that there were no witnesses.
Ms. Lehmann
English 1-3
12 March 2019
Guardian Demon
Macie was in the kitchen when she heard the door get jammed in. She ran out into the living room where a bunch of people dressed in black with white bolded letters, armed with guns. They started to surround her, only their backs towards her, guns trained on the door and windows.
The closest man whispered, “Here he comes.” Everyone held their breath; no one moved a muscle. Macie reviewed her whole week trying to remember what had happened to make a SWAT team burst into her house. After a minute, a figure appeared in the doorway. Macie gasped, and the SWAT team fired.
Earlier that day:
“I didn’t want to. They made me. They...” Macie said. She snuffled and looked over her folded arms. Macie wiped her tears away and looked at her guardian.
“I know. Now you have to make them pay.” Her guardian, Jace, said. He moved Macie’s hair out of her face and forcefully made her look at him. “This is what we’ll do. You’re going to confront them about it. They shouldn’t have blackmailed you. If they ask what you’re going to do about it just say I'll leave that up to my guardian,” Jace smiled evilly.
“If I do that, they’ll beat me,” Macie said, pushing his hand away from her face. She glared at Jace. “How is me going up to them and threating them any better than when they did it to me?”
“It’s better because if they don’t leave you alone, then we won’t have to deal with them anymore,” Jace said throwing his arms up, which made Macie flinch. He had never hurt her; she’s just always been flinchy. It was because of her parents, who were abusive before she ran away. Jace had been there through it all; he helped her escape them. Macie then rolled her eyes and laughed a little.
“I mean, I guess. But you never had to deal with them. They probably don’t even know you are real.” Macie unfolded her arm and let them hang by her side.
“Oh, just go do it,” Jace said, waving his hands at her. He smiled, then gently pushed her forward.
Macie confronted the people who blackmailed her, which ended with a few new bruises and scratches. She fought back, but it was hard to win when it was three against one. Macie slowly walked back towards her dorm room. When she entered, Jace was in the living room, trying to keep himself busy. When Jace’s eyes landed on the bruises, he freaked out and ran to the door.
“Jace! Where are you going?” Macie asked, running after him. When she rounded the corner, she saw Jace standing in the doorway.
“Just let me do this, Macie. They can’t hurt you like that!” Jace yelled, still facing away from her.
“It’s fine. I’m fine. I promise.” Macie said taking a step towards him.
“Just let me go for a walk and clear my head,” Jace said firmly.
“Fine, just don’t hurt anyone,” Macie said, watching Jace storm out of the dorm. She turned towards the kitchen.
When the shots ceased, Macie came back to reality. She pushed through the SWAT team, only to see her friend on the ground.
“Why did you do this?! What did he do?!” Macie yelled at them, collapsing next Jace. Jace immediately got up and acted fine.
“Don’t shoot!” The commander of the SWAT shouted. The team put their guns down and the commander answered all of Macie’s questions. Turns out, Jace had attacked the bullies, putting them in the hospital. Macie was upset that Jace would go against her, but just let it go.
Macie and Jace went on with life, never leaving each other’s company. Macie decided to leave things alone, because if she didn’t, something horrible would happen. Jace learned that if he ever did that again, he would make sure that there were no witnesses.
Narrative Reflection Questions
Answer all questions with complete, grammatically correct sentences. Be specific and thoroughly address each question.
- List one thing you've learned from writing this paper that you can apply to other writing assignments. What will that look like?
One thing I've learned is not to add extra words because then it makes the story confusing. This will help make my stories, in the future, less confusing and more professional. - Identify a specific revision you were asked to make and explain why (this can be at any stage of the writing process). How did you revise? What did you learn?
I was asked to indent when people talked because it helps people follow along, and it's a new paragraph. I went back and indented all my talking paragraphs. I learned that you need to indent when a character is talking. - What are the conventions of a narrative and how did you meet those in this assignment?
How much description was used, and the dialogue. I used a lot of dialogue and tried to describe things happening in my story. - Given more time to work on this assignment, how would you improve it?
I would have added more description and detail. I feel like my story is hard to follow
5. What is one thing you're proud of in this paper?
The details because I was only allowed to have 3 pages so I think I covered everything good.